


bloom

by emmerrr



Series: Only Fools Rush In [7]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, awwww
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 04:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: In the end, after all of the angsting and the introspection and the doubt, it happens when it happens, as it was always going to.





	bloom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adamganseys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamganseys/gifts).



> tumblr prompt from lorelaiglmore: the first time either or both drop a love confession??
> 
> yep i can absolutely write that for you :)

In the end, after all of the angsting and the introspection and the doubt, it happens when it happens, as it was always going to.

When Adam really thinks about it — and he does, endlessly — it’s clear that he’s been falling in love with Ronan for a while now. Since even before Ronan first kissed him, if he’s being honest. He’s not sure exactly what the tipping point was, just that he’s passed it now. He’s in it.

It’s a good feeling.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that he knows what to do about it, though.

Adam knows that Ronan loves him, too. That Ronan got there before him, even. He hasn’t said it either, but it’s in everything he does. It’s in every look, every gesture, every touch. Adam’s always been good at quietly observing, and he’s pretty sure he knows what love looks like now. What it sounds like. He definitely knows what it feels like.

It helps being friends with Gansey and Blue, whose own true love status was proved in the most heart-breaking of ways. Not that it wasn't already blatant; Gansey looks at Blue with open adoration, his affections written all over his face every time she walks in the room and he exclaims, “Jane!” like it’s such a wonderful surprise to see her, even though it’s almost always a prearranged visit. And Blue will roll her eyes and make some sort of quip, but she’s not fooling anyone; not Adam who’s been watching close enough to tell the difference, and certainly not Gansey if his responding smile is anything to go by.

_Why do we breathe air? Because we love air? Because we don’t want to suffocate. Why do we eat? Because we don’t want to starve. How do I know I love her? Because I can sleep after I talk to her._

Adam’s been thinking a lot about that late night conversation with Gansey that he had months ago now, and how it might apply to him. Perpetually tired Adam never really has trouble falling asleep — the quality of said sleep is another question altogether, but that’s not the point. He’s not an insomniac like Gansey, or Ronan on his worst nights. He idly wonders if Ronan, then, finds it easier to sleep after talking to  _Adam_.

But, no. He’s going about this all wrong, taking Gansey’s words entirely too literally. He and Ronan are not Blue and Gansey, and what’s true for them won’t necessarily be true for Adam and Ronan. He needs to stop being so analytical about everything, and strip away all the what-ifs and the maybes, so that he’s just left with what he  _knows_.

Adam knows what love looks like on Ronan, and it's looking at  _him_.

*

There’s nothing special about the day.

It’s a Wednesday so there’s school followed by work, and Adam doesn’t know if he’s going to see Ronan at all. But it’s not a surprise to pull into the St. Agnes carpark after a late shift at Boyd’s to see the BMW already parked up and the familiar figure of Ronan sitting on the top step outside Adam’s door. He never gives Adam a forewarning that he’s going to show up — it’s not his way — but he does it often enough that on the nights Adam does spend alone, Ronan’s absence is palpable. He’s missed.

That’s another reason why Adam knows.

It's been a long day — they're all long days, actually — and Adam is slow to get out of the car, slower to cross the carpark, and slower still to climb the stairs. He can feel Ronan’s eyes on him the whole way, and as soon as he gets to the top step and pulls his keys out of his pocket, Ronan says, “’Bout fucking time, Parrish. I’ve been waiting for  _ages_.”

“No you haven’t,” Adam replies good-naturedly as he opens the door, because Ronan knows his hours. If he’s here waiting for Adam to get off work it’s because he chose to be here early enough to  _have_  to wait. But he can’t make a nice gesture without pretending to be grumpy about it, Adam supposes, and overwhelming affection rushes through him.

Once inside, Ronan immediately monopolises Adam’s mattress, kicking his shoes off and face-planting. He’s a star-fish, and Adam shakes his head fondly at the sight.

“I’m gonna shower,” he says, and Ronan grunts unintelligibly in response.

Adam doesn’t take too long, and when he’s out he changes into his thread-bare pyjama pants and a hoodie of Ronan’s that he’s long since claimed as his own. It’s a pretty cold night, and it’s almost always cold in Adam’s little flat anyway. He detours to the door to make sure it’s locked, then turns off the main light. There’s a little desktop one still on and it illuminates the room in a cosy little glow.

Ronan looks to be asleep.

Adam glances towards his school-satchel, and knows that there is a little bit of homework inside that he really should get out of the way. It’s not due tomorrow, but he’s bound to be given even more and he really likes to keep on top of these things; he’s busy enough as it is. But he reasons that he  _does_  have a free-period in the early afternoon, and knows he’ll have the time to finish it then.

Besides, Adam is cold, and Ronan’s always warm, and even though he’s taking up almost all of the room on Adam’s already too-small mattress, there’s nothing else Adam wants to do than curl up next to him.

So he does.

Ronan rouses when Adam crawls up beside him, and when his eyes focus on Adam his answering smile is too sleepy to hold any of its usual scorn or sharpness. He just looks open and so in love as he reaches for Adam, and it still sends a sudden thrill up Adam’s spine that he recognises that look. He wonders if Ronan recognises it in  _him_.

Ronan rolls onto his back but keeps his hold on Adam, and Adam gets the hint. He follows, settles his hand and head on Ronan’s chest, and feels Ronan’s arm close around him.

Like this, he knows it won’t be long until he falls asleep; his eyelids are already drooping, his mind going hazy, and there’s something he needs to say before sleep drags him down.

He lifts his head so he can see Ronan’s face. Ronan’s eyes are already shut again so Adam shakes him gently. “Ronan,” he says.

Ronan wrinkles his nose in adorable irritation but he answers immediately, so he’s still awake. Just about. “What, Parrish.”

“Look at me.”

Ronan opens one eye and squints suspiciously. Adam laughs quietly. “Look at me  _properly_.”

Ronan huffs but opens his other eye too. He can pretend to be annoyed all he wants, but his arm is still tight around Adam, holding him close.

Of course now that he’s looking at him, Adam suddenly feels self-conscious, and he buries his face in Ronan’s t-shirt. He’s over-thinking. Again.

“Parrish?” Ronan asks, and any hint of annoyance is gone. A hand finds its way into Adam’s hair and it’s grounding. “Adam, what were you gonna say?”

Adam doesn’t respond for a moment, taking comfort in Ronan’s warmth and concern; in being under Ronan’s care. He doesn’t need to make a big speech about how much Ronan means to him, he doesn’t need to make a spectacle out of how he feels. So he takes a breath and lifts his head, then scoots up and kisses the confused frown off Ronan’s face. 

It’s not now or never, but now is as good a time as any.

“I love you.”

Ronan grins. “Huh?”

Adam rolls his eyes, but he can’t help the smile that pulls on his lips. “I  _said_ , I love you.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard you, I just wanted you to say it again,” Ronan says, and his smile is —  _fuck_  — it’s intoxicating, even if Ronan is an unapologetic  _asshole_.

Adam goes to drop his head again but Ronan captures his face in his hands and kisses him. And kisses him and kisses him.

When he pulls away, he’s got that look on his face again. The one that made Adam want to say it in the first place. “I love you too, Adam.”

It goes without saying. But it’s nice to hear it all the same.

**Author's Note:**

> this scene could be written so many different ways, but one personal headcanon I live and die by is that I absolutely think adam would be the first to tell ronan he loves him. I also think that once they're both in a situation where they're comfortable saying it, adam says it more often than ronan, just because he can :')
> 
> cross posted on tumblr


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